heron_pose (heron_pose) wrote,

Decisions, Decisions

I promised myself last summer that this summer I would seek out a new place to live, even assuming I wasn't moving to California.

And it's pretty clear I won't be moving to California, fantasies aside, so I have to think about buying a house ... or renting a more felicitous house or apt. than the 1-bedroom cardboard thing I've been in for the last 3 years.

Last time I bought a house, it was with the Tall Man, and of course we bought just before the bottom fell out of the market and he is still in that house, which is underwater ... (He and I are still "seeing each other" but I'm not making any commitments because I suck at decisions and he still has some way to go to show that I would have a better life with him than without.)

If I buy, I know that this time I would be able to do a down payment (by "liquidating some assets") because those 80/20 mortgages (even though we were well within our means) are a fool's game. And, I have found a lovely house with all sorts of sweet details -- cabinets and window frames -- done by the current occupant, who is a woodworker; it has a wired workshop with a woodstove in it, as well as a backyard garden, huge; just yesterday I was thinking "I could have it in time to get some collards and broccoli in for fall".

But it's scary; I could only BARELY afford it, and I'd be eating rice and beans (and collards and broccoli) for the rest of my born days.

Friends, am I a big enough girl to buy a house? a beautiful sunny house with workshop and garden? What what if my college goes bankrupt? or a dream comes true and I get to move back to CA?

What big decisions are you mulling over, if any, this summer?
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